Holla Cosmo- Que Pasa?!?!
That is more or less the extent of my Spanish speaking
ability. That being said, I accidently picked up the Spanish edition of Cosmo
magazine at the corner store (yes, apparently this is indeed a thing): because
regardless of your mother tongue you should not be deprived of Cosmos magical
insight and advice.
I am chalking this mishap up to the fact that I was too
distracted by Emmy Rossums.. ummm.. smile on the cover of the magazine to
notice that everything is written entirely in Spanish. Well, except for the huge
print that says “Latin Power” instead of “Poder Latino” and the word “sexy”
that they snuck in there when describing some sort of passionate night. Even I
know they could have used “bonita” or “guapa” instead of “sexy”. In fact, if
you live in an area with any sort of Spanish speaking community, have a Spanish
speaking acquaintance, or have seen a movie with a Spanish speaking man in it
you know that the Spanish language has PLENTY of words for “hot” and “sexy”.
There was no need to confuse me by using an English word there. It is as if
whoever designed this cover spoke ALMOST perfect Spanish, or maybe this
magazine is geared towards the spenglish speaking community. Oh, and let’s just
overlook the fact that Emmy Rossum is a New York City born Jew. But, Jews/ Latinas; is there even really a difference?
- According to Cosmo: not really.
Hopefully, for the next addition, they will find someone who is
actually Latino to pose for the cover of the Latin American addition of Cosmo
and not just someone who looks slightly Latina.. This should probably not be
too difficult. I can think of quite a few hot Latina women in Hollywood right
now; Sofia Vergara, Jessica Alba, Eva Longoria.. Eva Fricken Longoria! They could even settle on
someone from Miami, Florida which is close enough to South America (just
trying to set a low bar for Cosmo).
With all of the above considered, it makes it very confusing for us folks who don't like to read through things to identify this issue as "the Spanish addition". It’s like writing the English word “instructions” on the cover
of a Spanish version instruction manual. Sure you could skim through the
manual, but add a sexy woman to the cover and 10 out of 10 guys are purchasing
that manual without a second glance let alone spot checking the content!
Either way, I still
picked up the wrong issue of Cosmo, so the joke is still on me. In order to
make this purchase not a total bust we can at least enjoy the beautiful spread
Emmy did for the magazine. Feel free to try and translate a few words as well.
In conclusion, sometimes Cosmo wins.
