Because Men Know Romance

Yes, men do know romance! Thanks for having our backs cosmo. From spooning in bed to cutesy text message exchanges, I can hesitantly get behind everything on this list. That being said, you would think comso would choose a more romantic looking photo to go along with this eye opening article. Maybe a man and woman holding hands or something a little more risky like a couple’s bubble bath? But no, cosmo decided to go with this elegant picture where this man is clearly fingering this woman under her skirt in public. Now that is romance! This probably happened after a night of dry humping at a bar, which would have been at least number three on my romance list. Because nothing says romance like the smell of stale beer, and heavy petting through denim while a large group of uncomfortable strangers glare and judged you.

Cosmo answers why you are so hungry all the time

I don’t know maybe it is caused by EVERYTHING published in this magazine? This Q&A is literally surrounded by articles about dieting and exercise. Also, that cake looks delicious.. but you can’t have any if you want those flat abs and great butt like the lady on the bottom of the page.

Is This Dude Nude?

Really cosmo? Fake celebrity porn? What’s next, malware?

At least find some pics with them in somewhat sexy or provocative poses. I really hope there are no teen girls out there using this for bedtime material.

“Oh yea, Mark Wahlberg you walk sooo briskly with that cup of liquids.. You don’t want to spill any of that do you?”

“Hello Alex O’Loughlin, I have never heard of you, but do you have anything in that 7 eleven bag for me? Maybe some Taquitos or a buffalochicken roller?”

“ You carry that dog Justin Bartha. It looks so heavy! Its like a sexy suitcase that eats its own poop.”

May god have mercy on the soul of whoever conceptualized this piece.

I now need to go shower and throw up simultaneously..

Turn Him Into Man Mush

I agree that a massage can be a huge turn on.. however I'm not sure how additionally horny boosting my immune system makes me. Since when did flu prevention became an afrodisiac let alone any type of motivation for a sensual massage? I am also not sure how effective lube will be in the shower.

That being said, you had me at "Man Mush". A massage in the shower can never be a bad thing. If boosting his immune system serves as some type of motivation then so be it. I am really just looking forward to when they find a sex position that may help prevent cancer.

Three Clues He's Secretly Into You

1. He makes the okay sign.
I don't think I have ever made this sign in public.. let alone at a bar where I am trying not to creep people out.

2. His thumbs point up.
Only the Fonz can get away with a thumbs up at a bar. Ayyy!!

3. He flashes the I-love-you sign.
I am pretty sure that sign is a variation of the "shocker". The guy who flashes it to you probably thinks that as well.





I will chalk this advice up as a FAIL. Lucky for you I have compiled the actual three ways to tell if a guy is secretly into you.. you are welcome ladies..

The REAL 3 Clues a Guy is Secretly Into You.

1. He will awkwardly stare at you from afar.

Remember staring should be perceived as a complement. It means he is curious about you. It is only creepy if he has his dick out

2. He will buy you a LOT of drinks.

Alcohol is a great way to increase our confidence while at the same time lowering a girls standards. All guys know the best way to impair a woman's decision-making is through intoxication. The more drinks he buys you against your request the more he secretly likes you.

3. He will laugh at your shitty jokes.

If he is into you he will LOL all night long… (or until he sleeps with you or you reject him). Have a few jokes and funny faces in your back pocket to give this a shot.